Thursday, July 9, 2009

Does love bite?

Now it's no secret that most of us have sex. Even the ones who don't admit it are probably doing it. Sex is wonderful. It's hot and erotic and can cause a girl to dehydrate if done properly. What's not wonderful are these:

The original tramp stamp. Hickeys. Love bites. Passion marks. Hispanics often refer to them as monkey bites. (That should give you a clue as to what kind of people give them!)

What is a hickey? Basically, in plain English, it the rupturing of tiny blood vessels under the skin. Much like a bruise.

Who gives hickeys? Now, this is just one chics opinion, but if you're a dude who has awakened to a muffler burn on your neck, rest assured, a bitch put it there. Yep. I said it. Bitch. As in female dog. As in a species who feels the need to mark it's territory. She may as well have pissed on your tire.

If you're a chic who has awakened to the leech mark, chances are the dog you layed down with last night wants to come back for seconds. Thus he has to stamp you up to let the other dogs know he's not yet done.

Other than being disgustingly ugly, there are many reasons to NOT give or receive hickeys!

1. Because I said so.

2. Chics with hickeys look like tramps.

3. Chics who give hickeys look desperate.

4. It's stupid to purposely hurt one another.

5. Sucking your mate would feel better for them if you did it below the belt.

6. They are a SURE sign of white, brown, and yellow trash. (How many Hispanics, Asians, and African Americans have you ever seen with hickeys?)

7. You set a foul example for your children.

8. And if none of these is a good enough reason revert back to #1.

FURTHERMORE, If it's a bruise you're lookin for, I'll be happy to punch you in the mouth. jk lol...

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